Naruto: Theories, Rants, and Onehsots
by Omniwriter1234
Summary: This is basically a place where I'll dump theories I have on Naruto, rants about Naruto and Naruto fanfiction, and oneshots on Naruto that don't really need a story to themselves. Enjoy! Note: I'll probably bash a lot of stuff in the future like godlike Naruto, annoying Sakura, and power hungry and generally douchebag Sasuke.
1. Chakra Theory

Disclaimer: I do not own or claim to own Naruto in any way, shape, or form or am I making, intending to, or attempting to make a profit in any way, shape, or form with all rights and privileges belonging to the official owners of Naruto.

AN: Alright this is the first of, hopefully, a collection of theories, rants, and oneshots based on Naruto. Enjoy and please leave a review.

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This is going to be the start of a series of rants, oneshots, and theories on the Naruto world and to start it off I'll begin with Chakra, a theory on how it works and allows Shinobi to do what they do. Now it is common knowledge that the Chakra Pathway System is relatable to the Circulatory System in the fact that it moves Chakra throughout the body, the same way that the Circulatory System moved blood throughout the body. With this basic fact out of the way I'll enter a theory, a theory that shows these two are one and the same, only modified for Shinobi and the World of Naruto. Now pay close attention to what I'm about to say next as it can change the way you view the Naruto World.

This theory stems from an conversation with my brother, based on the character Kakuzu and his ability to use the hearts of Shinobi to use a multitude of techniques with all five Nature Transformations. We talked and he suggested that if Kakuzu simply took the hearts of those with Kekkei Genkai he would be able to access, at the least, six different elements if he has all four hearts and only one of them has a Kekkei Genkai. I agreed with him but told him that Kekkei Genkai would be harder to come by for him as most of them seemed to have been located in the Land of Water and as we all know a Bloodline Purge was executed there, elimination many Kekkei Genkai uses. Now, as we talked I began thinking of something. How precisely did Kakuzu stealing the hearts of his opponents actually give him access to more Nature Transformations? It didn't make much sense at first but then I started thinking, what if the heart was the key to Chakra? This may seem crazy to you but hear me out because it'll all make sense in the end.

So how is the heart of all things the key to the Shinobi world? I bet this a question you may are asking yourself so I'll tell you right now. The heart produces Chakra the same way it produces blood but at a limitless rate, well if all Eight Gates are released then it would. It makes sense as the Eighth Gate, the most powerful of the Eight Gate, is the heart and causes it to pump at maximum capacity for a short duration of time. Going off of my theory then this means that opening the Eighth Gate gives you access to a temporary limitless amount of Chakra as the heart produces Chakra at an increased rate. Now moving onto what the Chakra does is when it becomes pure speculation.

The Chakra, being constantly produced and pumped out by the heart mixes with the blood and just like the oxygen the blood carries, the Chakra enters the muscles and tissues of the body, allowing for the increase in strength of Shinobi as it is absorbed by the body. Now the Eight Gates comes into play as if this is true then the body would only continue to grow in capability, making the Shinobi, in time, an immortal god with extreme strength, stamina, and durability with nothing short of the Gods themselves stopping them. The Eight Gates, particularly the Eighth Gate, works by controlling the flow of Chakra from the heart, keeping it from constantly going out and keeping it at a low rate while the other Seven Gates spread throughout the body will absorb and store excess Chakra, leading to the massive boost in the power when they are unlocked as when the surge of Chakra is first released and reaches the heart, the heart quickly increases its own rate of Chakra production to match the surge and sends it throughout the body, causing the massive increase in power and speed as the Chakra floods the body's muscles and tissues while also destroying them as the Chakra is so sudden the body has little time to increase its durability with it.

Continuing with this theory of Chakra coming from the heart and how the Eight Gates tie into Chakra allows me to head into a more deeper theory, one on the Nature Transformations each Shinobi has. Now, again, this is purely speculative with my own thoughts and my own interpretation of the events of Naruto being the only evidence. Nature Transformations are based in Chakra, which is created from the heart, showing a certain connection between the heart and the available Nature Transformations of a Shinobi. One of the possibly ways this happens is the DNA in the cells of the heart, well, at least the cells responsible for the creation of Chakra from the heart.

The DNA, in theory, would hold a gene from both parents and the dominant genes would prevail with an example being the father having a dominant Water gene and a recessive Fire gene while the mother has a dominant Water gene and a recessive Lightning gene, creating, in all likelihood, either the Shinobi offspring having a strong affinity to Water, a lesser affinity to both Water and one of the two, or one or two of the two recessive genes, a rare thing but still possible. Now if this is true then it makes sense why clans like the Uchiha would have primarily Fire Release users as the Fire gene is dominant as the clan wishes to keep the Sharigan within the clan and thus marries only within the clan.

Now, if this is true, then my next theory will make even more sense. For this one it was the same conversation with my brother but he brought up the Anime-only Shadow of the ANBU Arc where it shows Kakashi's interactions with the Iburi Clan, a clan with the ability to transform themselves into smoke but the ability was imperfect. Now for this theory, only the ability and the fact they are a clan matters in this situation as I have an idea on why the ability would at times activate against the will of the user and cause them to transform into smoke. Now, if I continue on the base of the heart producing Chakra and genes controlling the Nature Transformations available to a Shinobi then this theory makes perfect sense. Now, the way I see it, this clan, in the past, had a godly Fire gene, the gene so strong it rewrote the Chakra of the individual at its most basic level and as the Chakra entered the body from the blood it gradually gave the Shinobi the ability to actually transform their body into fire, those familiar with the anime One Piece would compare this ability to that of a Logia-class Devil Fruit.

Back to the main point of this which isn't One Piece. Now, as the clan wishes for this ability to remain in the clan, they only marry within the clan and overtime this causes the gene to remain powerful enough to rewrite the nature of the Chakra entirely but weaken gradually over time, a problem that happened to royalty as they intermarried and their offspring became prone to birth defects and shorter lifespans. Now as the gene grew weaker and weaker as they clan continued to intermarry, they gradually lost the potency of the gene and therefore the ability to turn into fire so instead of the Chakra allowing it as the potency of the gene faded, it instead changed into the weaker form of smoke.

In short, as the clan continued to intermarry it only grew worse, the gene growing weaker and weaker but still powerful enough to cause a rewrite of the user's Chakra, creating the ability to turn into smoke but lacking the stability needed to maintain the Shinobi's real body as the Chakra began to fight off the gene, slowly shifting back into the regular Fire gene and therefore the clan completely using the ability to turn into smoke.

With all of this evidence, well at least to me it is evidence as to you it can be complete crap, I can finally begin to expand on the concept of Chakra in general and how it can be expelled from the body. To do this, think of the pores along the body and remember that Chakra constantly enters the body, eventually building into an excess of Chakra that can no longer remain internal but cannot yet exit the body so the Chakra finds another way, beginning to fill the pores over time. Now, Chakra, officially, is connected to both the Body and the Mind of the Shinobi, making it that as the user trains both their Body and Mind that their Chakra will grow much faster and larger if only one was trained at a time. This can be seen in an easy example, the Nara Clan. Geniuses that can plan hundreds of steps ahead but with basically average Chakra reserves as the clan is shown to be very lazy, only training the mind will generally doing only the bare minimum of physical training. So, does this make sense? Since the Nara only train their minds extensively, they don't actually have massive Chakra reserves and instead only have far above average intelligence.

Now back to the original theory here, the Shinobi is able to unconsciously and very slightly modify their heartbeat for very, very, very short durations of time and use the slightly higher heartbeat, almost unnoticeable to all but the most sensitive of sensitive equipment, to cause the Chakra built up in the pores to move higher, entering what is the Chakra Pathway System, a system that rests just under the skin and are connected with the pores. With this the Shinobi can then use hand seals to shape the Chakra and then use it as they normally do in the show and manga.

And so, with this piece of the theory, everything ties together, Chakra is created in the heart, fills the body over time, eventually reaches the limit of the Chakra able to be stored to instead enters the pores, the pores are connected to the Chakra Pathway System, a system which lies just under the skin and transport the excess Chakra all throughout the body, the Shinobi then releases it with an unconscious modification to their heartbeat for a single instant to expel the Chakra, something only their bodies can handle multiple times due to Chakra reinforcing and strengthening their body slightly over time, despite the Eight Gates generally storing most Chakra that passes by them. Since this happens for at least several years before they actually use it makes its safe for the heartbeat to change for an instant as it does to help expel the Chakra.

But with all of these factors working together in such a delicate balance, it begs the questions, what would happen if even one of them was removed? What if a mutation took away the storing capabilities for the Eight Gates or the Shinboi had an increased heart rate, a heart rate that causes the Chakra in them to be released faster than it can be safely stored by either the Eight Gates and pores or absorbed by the body? Well in either of these situations one of two things would then happen, A, the Shinobi grows to an incredible level of power and basically godhood or, B, the Shinobi explodes as the buildup of Chakra becomes too much and destroys the Shinobi as the body can no longer the Chakra.

With all of this now out of the way, I can now head to what originally created this theory, Kakuzu and his Kinjutsu known as Earth Grudge Fear. If my theory is correct then the reason he can use the Nature Transformations from the hearts of his victims because that is where Chakra is produced and because of that Kakuzu possesses extreme abilities far beyond what is normal even for Shinobi. One, he effortlessly destroyed the gates to the Fire Temple in moments, Gates said to be heavily sealed and able to at least momentarily withstand a pseudo-Jinchuriki. This can be reasoned as Kakuzu has five hearts supplying his body with Chakra, therefore reinforcing and strengthening it to both take extremely powerful blows while dishing out the same.

So based off of this then the question can be, how did he lose to Kakashi and Team 10? A question that is simple to answer. The Kinjutsu known as Earth Grudge Fear clearly modified his body greatly as it became nearly nothing but threads and hearts in the end, removing many things that this theory is built on. He no longer has muscles and tissues to strengthen, only threads. He no longer has the capability to obtain the truly monstrous power he could potentially wield without a fully organic body, a body that would constantly strengthen itself with the overwhelming amounts of Chakra produced by the five hearts Kakuzu held. If Kakuzu held a organic body instead of nothing but threads, he could have easily withstood the Wind Release: Rasenshuriken Naruto used on him and basically anything else but he didn't, his body was basically just threads, bones, and skin, very few organs and little tissue left for the Chakra to be absorbed by and threads have their limits eventually.

So, what do you think of this theory, any holes you found and want to point out, any additions to what I said or something I might have missed, am I dead wrong and this turned out to be a waste of your time? Or do you have any ideas on future theories or even rants on a specific topic? Leave a review to the story to tell me all of this and more and I'll respond, well if it's a registered account as I really don't respond to guest reviews unless it brings up a very good point or it's a flames because then I have to respond to it and give you my opinion on what I think of it, which can be good or bad.

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AN: So, how was it? Leave a review, please, and I'll respond to you personally if you have an account on FF.

Peace.


	2. Bashing and More

Disclaimer: I d not own or claim to own Naruto or anything else mentioned in this piece of fiction in any way, shape, or form and I am making to or attempting to make a profit from this work of fiction in any way, shape of form, all recognizable trademarked material belongs to their respective owners in every way, shape, and form in accordance to the law.

AN: Okay, a rant here that got way off topic so sorry about that one guys but enjoy the parts that are on topic at least.

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This is going to be a rant instead of a theory and this rant is going to be about the one, the only, the too damn common, and too damn annoying topic of….

(INSERT Drum Roll Here)

BASHING!

(INSERT Zelda Treasure Chest Theme)

Now, I have no idea why bashing has become so common in Naruto fandom but I can't stand it and I've been on this site for several years. At first I, like I guess everyone else did, liked seeing Sakura and Sasuke bashed and generally grew to believe they were both terrible characters. Sakura was a screaming worthless banshee of a teammate who constantly beat up Naruto because she was just terrible. And Sasuke, oh I can't even begin to start on Sasuke and just how much I grew to hate him. He was a power hungry, egotistical, and arrogant little brat that deserved to get beat by Naruto at every opportunity because the arrogant and power hungry Uchiha brat had it coming every time.

Looking back on this, I can't believe how stupid I was.

While writing this little piece I, instead of looking at how characters are mainly portrayed in fanfiction, looked into their personalities on the show and looked for comments on them from Kishimoto himself and found the truth I was overlooking for so long. Kishimoto actually admits that he can't write female characters and the reason Sakura is either portrayed useless or pushed onto the sidelines in the manga and anime is because of that, the man simply can't write her well and doesn't want to screw her character up. Sakura had her moments through and no one can deny them even if you hate her, she had character growth like in the Forest of Death where she is willing to risk everything to protect her unconscious teammates. Now please remember, Sakura was very vain and focused on her looks before this and willingly cut her hair off, a rather nice sign of character growth and the episode was nicely titled as "Sakura Blossoms" but people tend to ignore this and just endlessly bash her in almost every Naruto story I see. Another example of good character growth is the Sasori fight in Naruto Shippuden where Sakura didn't stand on the sideline and was generally an awesome badass female character during the fight who defeated Sasori in the end despite all odds against her and Sasori generally being borderline immortal against her and Chiyo.

Of course this is understandably as the site is so populated by stories that bash her that people simply grow to hate her for no reason and make a crucial mistake and move from being people I like to people I abhor. They begin to view fanfiction, key words being FAN and FICTION, as canon. Yes, people become so use to the bashing that populates stories on this wonderful site that they completely ignore the fact that it is fiction. Yes people, this site is just fiction made by fans, kind of in the name of the site but hey, I'm not talking about that right now. So, I stay in this majority for a while before I really begin to see, and I mean really see what the hell I was doing. I mean, taking fanfiction as canon? Completely ridiculous but sadly far too commonly done as I see the same thing every time I click on a Naruto story, almost all of them hold bashing the same way I've seen it in another story.

A perfect example of this is my brother, I introduced him to the site a while back and over time I observed the same thing I saw happen to myself. He began seeing fanfiction and canon as one and the same. I didn't let this happen and constantly stressed to him the simple fact of this: Fanfiction is not canon. You won't believe how many times I had to tell him before I think he got the message. Still hard to hold a nice conversation with him but he's great to argue with and actually helps me clear up my rants and theories when we talk.

Now, moving on, I've strayed off topic with this example enough as it is, I'll move onto Sasuke bashing and just how stupid it is sometimes. I don't know who started this but if I ever find out I will try to talk sense into them. Sasuke, is in actuality, a complex character who's, like I said about Dan Phantom in a Danny Phantom theory, just batshit insane. All of this depicting him as power hungry and arrogant and just a brat overall is untrue. The kid is simply a basket case who never got any of the help he desperately and I mean desperately needs. First off, his entire clan was slaughtered by the idol of his childhood and that same idol freely admits to doing it and even shows him a twisted version of it using his Mangekyou Sharingan and Tsukuyomi. He's told to hate him and grow stronger in order to avenge the clan while gaining the Mangekyou Sharingan, a goal he latched onto and refuses to let go of until he can do it. Now you may be seeing right now "So, what's the big deal? The guy is still an asshole?" Right? WRONG! Very fucking wrong!

Sasuke, in the simplest terms, needs an obsession to keep his fragile mind functioning. He will latch onto anything that he thinks will do it ranging from killing Itachi to changing the Shinobi World because he needs to. It's not something that can be broken because his entire life has been filled with goals, first to gain his father's attention and later to kill Itachi only to later to destroy Konoha. His need for obsessions control him in every way, shape, and form I can think of as all of his actions can tie back to them. Look at him taking Itachi's eyes after the Five Kage Summit, he did it in pursuit of his goal to destroy Konoha or simply look at his defection to Orochimaru, done simply for power to kill Itachi as Itachi told him to do. With his needs for obsessions come the fact that he is highly easy to manipulate by anyone who can talk so basically every villain in Naruto and Naruto Shippuden. Just look back on his past and see that his goals have always been created by others no matter what you may think. His goal to gain his father's attention, set by his father. What about his goal to kill Itachi? That goal was actually set by Itachi himself. How about his goal to destroy Konoha for the suffering Tobi told him his brother was put through because of him? Set by Tobi/Madara/Obito as part of his plans to get more power to the Akatsuki and eventually capture the Tailed Beast.

So, after all this, do I have to bring up anything else to convince you that Sasuke and Sakura bashing is unfounded and both annoying but also everywhere you look and steadily taking over and beating down all of the good stories without them here on this site? Of course I need more! I know right now you're saying or thinking to yourself that I'm just a Sasuke fanboy but I'm not. I hate him with a passion over the general stupidity he shows. I mean really? Destroy the village your brother gave everything to protect? Is that really anything someone with even the cognitive functions of a three year old would even think of doing? Sasuke is just a completely stupid character who doesn't even have a half decent reason to hide behind for the horrid actions he constantly partakes in and the crimes he commits. But all of this still isn't a reason to see the constant bashing of his character, simply fix his personality in the story you write. You are the author, you do not need to conform to what others write as this site is about expressing your views and what you want to happen!

So please, start writing things that don't include heavy bashing. I've actually stopped reading Naruto fanfictions because that is pretty much all I find now, next to Godlike Naruto stories and mostly the two are one and the same. But godlike Naruto is a rant for another day…

Or is it?

I say no since I'm going to include it in here too so enjoy this double rant.

What makes it so good for people to write these stories? I mean all Godlike Naruto stories are is when some group of hot goddesses come down and give him unlimited power because he's had a terrible life and they just want to take pity on him. Listen up people! Gods don't care about mortals, well most gods don't and if this is insulting you I deeply apologize because this is not my intention in this rant and just relates to what I generally see in these stories and my personal opinion when it comes to the gods/god and a single individual.

The Gods in Naruto obviously don't care if they still haven't stepped in with Madara's insane plan to put his eye on the moon, showing Madara as the crazy old man your parents tell you to stay away from at all costs. Now moving on, why? Why does this happen in every story I read that deals with Naruto? I mean come on people! Get creative and take on challenges like 'What if Naruto never learned the Shadow Clone Technique?' or 'What if Naruto didn't want to be a Ninja" or even the far too common 'What if Naruto was beaten as a child?', a thing, by the way, that isn't canon but seen far too much in basically every story I've ever read. And this isn't even the worse thing as on top of Godlike Naruto stories, I almost always see him having every Nature Transformation, every Kekkei Genkai, the Rinnegan, Sharingan, Byakugan, and some super powerful Dojutsu because he somehow turns out to be the descendent of every clan ever through some unexplained bullshit reason.

And this isn't even to go into the ever popular Banishment plot popular after either of the attempts to retrieve Sasuke. I mean really? What type of military village banishes the ultimate weapon at what is basically their beck and call? Really? All you say is your orders and the you'll be Hokage afterwards and he'll already be finished before you finish your sentence. And the fact this Banishment storyline always happens because of civilian councils that somehow spring up in what is basically a dictatorship and…I actually can't do this right now, I will just keep going and going and going if I keep this up so I'll focus only on Godlike Naruto stories and not the Banished Naruto stories or the Harems that are in both of these stories.

Now, moving onto Godlike Naruto stories and why I just loathe them at this point because at first they were okay, a good but easily predictable read before they turned very annoying after the thirtieth one I skimmed through on the site. Now, I am not insulting the authors, I'm just sick and tired of these stories at this point as the all follow a basic format. All of them are goddesses, because let's face it, it's always goddesses because they always have crushes on Naruto and they always give him amazing power for no reason and the promise themselves to him as a Harem or help him help destroy Konoha or some combination like that. All of this and more now is all over the Naruto section of the site and it isn't limited to just the main section as most crossovers have the same or him simply having a massive Harem when he has no business being in that particular fandom.

But, once again, I'm off topic here as Harems are a topic for another rant and one that will be extensive on just how much I hate them, it's actually gotten to the point I won't even read a story with a Harem at this point. Naruto does not need twenty or something women just because he has some horrible life, which, newsflash people, others have it worse than him and I don't see goddesses coming down and offering themselves to these people, and then he sprouts some worthless trash about it not being a Harem or they were all just one big family, which is wrong and stupid for too many reasons. Let's not even delve into how many times Naruto has a sister or mother or both that just wants to get into his pants. That is wrong people! Get that into your perverted minds!

I actually just searched for the Naruto section of the site with Naruto and Kushina on the character filter on an M rating while I was writing this piece and I've come to a decision regarding the Naruto fandom. The sheer amount that simply read Godlike, Harem, and just generally common things that I discussed before and I am going to be taking a brief hiatus from all Naruto related fanfiction which includes any stories I have on it.

Since I've gotten so off topic by this point I'll finish it up in this last paragraph or at least get close to the main point.

Now, Godlike Naruto stories and massive Sasuke and Sakura Bashing now make up most of Naruto fanfiction and because of it the good Naruto stories that are out there are simply ignored as they are buried under the constantly repeated storylines that many fanfiction writers have begun taking as near gospel. Bashing holds no support in either the anime or the manga for the reasons I've listed of Kishimoto himself admitting he can't do female characters well making up for Sakura's poor performance in most things and Sasuke being a psychopath that needs an obsession to hold himself together to at least try to remove the urge to bash them from your minds. Godlike Naruto stories are a completely different thing through as most of them are simply Harems where Naruto is simply god and they've filled up the Naruto Fanfiction archive with them.

So, I hope you enjoyed the rant, hopefully me going off topic so much didn't bother you, and please take at least some of this into consideration the next time you want to write Godlike Naruto stories, bashing of any character, and Harems in general.

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AN: Well, I want to apologize for a moment as this rant was so off topic because my mind was drifting the entire time I wrote it and wouldn't stay focused without going into a super rant on Naruto stories in general.

P.S.: I do not mean to insult any author on this site with this rant, I just wanted to rant and try to change how much of the same stories are posted. All authors on this site have the right to their own opinion and I am not trying to disrespect you or how you write, I'm simply expressing my own opinion.

Anyway, hoped you enjoyed it and leave a review if you disagree or are confused or just have another point to bring up and I'll respond to your review through PM.

Peace.


	3. The Final Battle

Disclaimer: I do not claim to own any recognizable licensed material that appears in this fic in any way, shape, or form and neither am I making or attempting to make a profit in any way, shape, or form from this work of fiction.

This was made out of boredom and a few too many Pokémon fics, enjoy!

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Here it was, the final battlefield. The revitalized duo of Naruto Uzumaki and Sasuke Uchiha stood together against the Juubi Jinchuriki, the legendary and powerful, Madara Uchiha. At the sight of the levitating Madara, Naruto turned to his partner in this fight.

"Alright Sasuke, let's hit him hard with what Rikudo showed us." Naruto words were met with a short nod from the Uchiha, his single Rinnegan eye focused solely on Madara.

"Yeah, yeah, we'll do it the way the Rikudo-sama showed us how." Sasuke and Naruto both formed several hand signs as Madara instantly recognized the identical sets.

'What? No, such a thing! It's completely impossible for them!' Madara quickly moved through his own hand signs as he recognized the hand signs and flew towards the ground.' I'll end them before they can even try something like this!'

"Let's go, Sasuke!" Naruto shouted as he and Sasuke both finished.

"Right!" Sasuke called back as Madara hit the ground.

"Destroy them! Juubi! Susanoo!" Madara called out as two white and red sphere flew from his hands, streaking through the air like bullets fired from a rifle.

"Go, Susanoo!" Sasuke shouted as he threw a purple and red sphere at the ground, the impact of it cratering the ground and a blast of violet Chakra concealing it from view.

"Let's end this, Kyubi!" Naruto shouted, a pure golden sphere shooting out of his hands and releasing a blast of golden Chakra that covered the future battlefield!

As the mass of Chakra cleared, four massive entities stood between the three combatants! Two stood on each side, standing in front of their summoners. On one side, stood the crimson nine tailed fox known as the Kyubi and with the Bijuu stood the samurai like winged warrior known as Susanoo, summoned by Naruto and Sasuke to battle! Against the two titans, stood the terrifying ten tailed beast known as the Juubi and with it stood the massive form of Madara's Susanoo!

"This Pokemon Battle is about to begin folks!" the famed and immortal, announcer from every Pokemon battle in the series appeared! Descending from the heavens amidst the heralding calls of trumpets and other brass related instruments!" A Two on One Handicap Battle! Avatars of Destruction Showdown! The Throwdown in the Barren Wasteland that used to be someplace but is now destroyed from all the fighting! The Climatic Showdown that looked to be the end of the Naruto series but is really just part of the end, several more important fights will follow!"

"Enough already, get to the damn fight!" shouted some random spectator as he stood from the suddenly existing stands. His cry was echoed by the thousands of others in the stands, the numbers steadily rising as the stands grew impossibly larger and giant screens appeared to display the combatants!

"You heard him Sasuke, let's start this off with Quick Attack, Kyubi!" Naruto called out, Kyubi nodding before rushing forward, vanishing in a burst of speed.

"Susanoo, follow behind him and use Double Team now!" Sasuke called out, Susanoo rushing forward as replicates of the warrior appeared across the battlefield.

"Juubi, jump in front and counter with Iron Defense! Susanoo, get into the air and use Whirlwind on the battlefield!" Madara called out, a slash of his hand through the air moving the two into action.

Kyubi struck first! Striking Madara's Susanoo before it could get into the air as the Juubi was surrounded on all sides by Sasuke's Susanoo. Madara cursed vehemently as he saw this and was quick to issue a new command.

"Juubi, use Hyper Beam on all of them! Susanoo, get into the air now!" Madara demanded and the two immediately followed his command.

With a moment to charge, a massive and destructive black colored energy beam ripped from the Juubi's roaring maw! The Juubi swung its head from side to side to completely cover the battlefield!

"Susanno, use Dig to get underground and avoid it!" Sasuke demanded and Susanoo was quickly underground, safely covered by the earth long before the attack came close to striking it.

"Kyubi, get into the air and charge a Focus Punch!" Naruto's order was meet with a roar of agreement from the Bijuu as it leapt to avoid the attack.

"Susanoo, hit Kyubi now while he charges with Steel Wing!" Susanoo let out a shout of agreement as it took off into the air, moving through the air like a rocket with its plate like wings glowing a harsh white!

Despite the incoming attack, both Naruto and Kyubi could only grin as Naruto's next command showed why! (Shut up announcer! We can all see what's happening!).

"Kyubi, use Iron Tail!" Naruto roared and the Kyubi echoed it as his nine tails glowed a harsh steel color and into the approaching Susanoo once it was in range. The attack powered the approaching Susanoo into the ground, cratering it on impact and remaining motionless within the dust cloud created.

"Susanoo, strike with Flamethrower while Madara's distracted!" Sasuke's order was met with a nod as Susanoo seemed to bulge for a moment before a torrent of flames flew from its mouth. The flames powered the Juubi into the ground where it was covered in a screen of smoke." Don't let up and use Draco Meteor now to keep it pinned down!"

With a roar, a crimson sphere appeared between Susanoo's cupped palms and fired into the air where it erupted into a rain of smaller, but rapidly growing, spheres! The attack struck moments later, raining down upon the floored Juubi where all struck true!

"Kyubi, help take out Juubi with a barrage of Focus Punch!" Naruto's shout was met with a roar as Kyubi's nine tails took on a glowing white color at the tip and were hammered onto the grounded Juubi! The crater housing the Juubi grew deeper and wider as the barrage continued as Susanoo rose into the air, hovering above Kyubi and the Juubi.

"Susanoo, use Armor on the Kyubi and let's end the Juubi before it recovers!" Sasuke ordered and the summoned warrior divebombed, changing into a meteor of dark purple Chakra that slammed into the Kyubi! Instead of the expected impact, the meteor not harming the Kyubi, but strengthening it! Armor spread across the Kyubi, modeled after Susanoo's own as nine swords were held in the hands added to the ends of each tail!

"Naruto, let's end the Juubi and then hit Madara's Susanoo with everything we've got!" Sasuke words were met with agreement from Naruto and they both turned their attention back to the battle.

"Got it!" Naruto answered as the now Armored Kyubi shot into the air.

"Juubi use Synthesis and Dig and get out of there! Susanoo, attack with Hyperbeam at full power!" Madara's commands were instantly answered and with a roar the Juubi began to draw energy to itself to heal it while Susanoo unleashed a massive destructive blast on the Armored Kyubi who leapt into the air to avoid it as the Juubi disappeared underneath the ground as it landed.

"Kyubi, get into the air again and use Flamethrower now!" Naruto's command was echoed by a roar from the Bijuu as it crouched slightly before launching itself into the air while taking a deep breath. A storm of fire obliterated the ground seconds later and both the Juubi and Susanoo were powered into a crater as Naruto smirked at the two defeated creatures.

"Susanoo, detach and use Solarbeam like we planned." Sasuke' voice was quiet as he spoke and with a flash of light Susanoo had ripped itself off of Kyubi and momentarily freezing as it finished gathering energy, unleashed a massive blast that blew away the Juubi and Susanoo.

"What are you doing Sasuke?" Naruto demanded, turning to his partner in this fight who kept his eyes focused on the battle.

"We have to take them down and keep them that way, Madara is next." Sasuke's words were met with a short growl of frustration from Naruto before he turned his attention back to the battle.

"Forget it, I'll deal with you later."

"Susanoo, use Armor on the Juubi and then take the two of them down with Tackle!" Madara's shouted order was completed instantly and the two Shinobi against him immediately focused on the battle fully.

"Susanoo, copy them and use Armor on Kyubi!"  
"Kyubi, once you're Armored, use Slash with your tails!"

In a flash of light the Kyubi was once again armored and roared as it met the charging Armored Juubi with nine vicious swipes from the blades on the ends of its tails. The Armored Juubi roared in pain at the blow and was stunned for the moment, something Naruto and Sasuke were keen to capitalize on.

"Susanoo, use Fire Fang with the tails! Keep the Juubi in place!" Sasuke's answer was met with the ends of Kyubi's tail taking on lion like heads that had fire filling their mouths as they threw themselves around the Kyubi and hit into the Juubi, pinning the Juubi in place in the powerful inferno that roared forth around it.

"Good job Sasuke."

"Just hit him, Madara has a plan, let's wreck it!"

"Right! Kyubi, use Ember to keep the Juubi stunned!" The Kyubi roared as it launched a barrage of small flames onto the Juubi that caused it to roar in pain as it was blinded by the point blank barrage." Good, now follow that up with a full power Flamethrower to take down both!"

"Juubi, ignore the pain and hit them with Hyperbeam now!" Madara's voice was somewhat panicked, rightfully so as an attack like that would take down the Juubi despite it's Armored state.

"Susanoo, cancel Fire Fang and use Bullet Seed instead, keep it up until the Kyubi blasts it!" Sasuke's order couldn't had come quicker as the now constant barrage managed to stop the charging blast.

"Forget charging Juubi, hit them with it now!" Madara's order was followed instantly as the Juubi took a moment before firing, just long enough for the Kyubi to fire as the Juubi did.

"No!" Madara shouted as Susanoo and Juubi were thrown out of the roaring flames and crashed into the ground. Neither were moving and Madara growled as the two sphere on the ground opened up and the Juubi and his Susanoo were absorbed into them.

"Curse you both!" Madara shouted as he walked away after retrieving the spheres." I'll beat you next time brats!"

With that said, Madara stomped off the field and Naruto grinned as Sasuke smirked.

"And look at this! Naruto and Sasuke win the battle against Madara! Their perfect and flawless (Crowd: There the same thing idiot!) teamwork and now they.."

"Susanoo, use Leech Seed on Kyubi and then hit it with Bullet Seed!" Sasuke's commands were followed without hesitation and the Kyubi roared in pain as its health was drained away as Susanoo detached before it landed and unleashed a hail of attacks on the already weakened Susanoo.

"And look at that, it's now Sasuke vs. Naruto immediately after their previous battle! Both Pokemon are exhausted and Sasuke's surprise attack may cost Naruto this match!" (Crowd: Shut up already! No one needs you to talk!).

'Of course.' Naruto turned to Sasuke who refused to look at him as the Kyubi was crippled by the barrage and drain combo from Susanoo.

"Susanoo, don't let up, finish this with a double Mega Punch!" Sasuke's answer was met with Susanoo charging as Naruto chuckled for a moment before the Kyubi let out a roar and blasted off the spores draining it's energy.

"Kyubi with him with Rock Throw with two tails, Leaf Storm from the other two, get in close with Quick Attack and hit him with Iron Tail with two more, finish this fight with Flamethrower afterwards and Dragon Tail from your last three tails!" Naruto's orders were met with a roar as a hail of rocks slammed into the charging Susanoo, throwing it back and into a storm of leaves that battered it around. The Kyubi burst through as a crimson streak and slammed its two glowing white tails into Susanoo, knocking it onto the ground. With a final roar, the Kyubi unleashed the charged Flamethrower before slamming its three Dragon Tails into Susanoo and tossing it away and it slammed into the ground in pain.

"Susanoo! Get up! Don't lose to him!" Sasuke's shouts were pointless as Susanoo was nearly unconscious as Naruto ordered the Kyubi to charge forward with a wave of his hand.

"Kyubi, pummel Susanoo with Hammer Arms and Iron Tails until he's out." Naruto's order was met with a roar from the Kyubi as it leapt into the air and slammed into Susanoo, driving blow after blow into his opponent without an ounce of mercy.

"Susaoo, throw him off with a full power Bullet Seed, just get him off you!" Sasuke's order was met with a weak attack from Susanoo before it steadily built up and the Kyubi quickly leapt off and to the side to avoid further damage.

Susanoo gently sat up after the barrage and Naruto seemed annoyed at that as he turned his attention to the Kyubi.

"Kyubi, hit Susanoo with Thunderbolt and follow it up with Tackle and Iron Tail!" Kyubi received Naruto's orders with a roar of agreement and unleashed a bolt of thunder on the still weakened Susanoo which caused it to roar in pair before it was struck by the charging Susanoo before nine Iron Tails struck it from nine different angles, pummeling it." Toss him away and destroy him with Electro Ball!"

"Susanoo, counter with Agility!" Sasuke's command couldn't have come at a better time as Susanoo barely avoided the barrage of attacks launched by the Kyubi.

'What is happening? Why is he so serious right now? He wasn't when we fought Madara.' Sasuke chose to push aside these thoughts when Kyubi stopped his bombardment and noticed how it seemed to have exhausted itself and Susanoo was barely hanging on now.

"Sasuke, this will be the last move, let's see if who comes out on top." Naruto didn't even turned to look at Sasuke as he spoke but the Uchiha nodded anyway.

"Yeah, this is it." Sasuke acknowledged Naruto's words and turned his attention fully to Susanoo.

"Susanoo, put everything you've got into a full power Hyperbeam, leave nothing out and let's bring him down!"

"Kyubi, use everything in the next Flamethrower and let's bring him down and end this!"

"And here comes the end of this battle! Naruto and Sasuke are both ordering their Pokemon to put everythi…"  
"Shut up!" Naruto and Sasuke both turned to the mysterious announcer who appeared out of nowhere and their glare silenced the announcer." Just be quiet and sit there you annoying little (These words have been censored for your benefit…oh dear god! How many curses do these two know!)."

"Fire!"

The two attacks clashed and a massive explosion ripped through the arena, completely destroying it and leaving a dust cloud around the arena. A single silhouette was visible standing within it. Both Sasuke and Naruto expressed the same thing at the sight of it.

"Oh no."

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AN: AND Cliffhanger!

Read and review.


	4. Kakashi Bashing

Disclaimer: I do not own or claim to own any recognizable licensed material in any way, shape, or form with all recognizable material belonging to its respective owners in every way, shape, and/or form in accordance to the law. Neither am I making or attempting to make a profit from this work of fiction in any way, shape, or form. This was written only for entertainment and no monetary profit.

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Well, here's a oneshot about something that leads to Kakashi bashing…

Naruto Uzumaki turned bright blue eyes towards the single uncovered eye of his silver haired sensei, glaring at the seemingly uncaring Jonin.

"Kakashi-sensei, why did you give me that useless pervert Ebisu as a sensei and went off and trained Sasuke-teme for the entire month?" Naruto voice was nearly a growl as he spoke, doing little justice to the sheer rage he felt at his sensei for leaving him to train Sasuke-teme.

Naruto's tone seemed to catch Kakashi's attention as the Copy-nin sighed as he closed the book he was reading before turning to Naruto. His expression, well at least his eye, was blank as he focused on Naruto.

"Naruto, tell me how hard it is for you to beat Neji. And make this your honest opinion about the match." Kakashi's voice was bland as he spoke and Naruto, instead of simply shouting about what Neji did to Hinata, thought about everything and compared him and Neji.

"It would actually be pretty easy. I was thinking about the match he had with Hinata and I would guess I could beat him pretty easily. I can wear him out with my Kage Bunshin no Jutsu and after that I've got plenty of Chakra to fall back on to risk getting in close with him." Naruto's words were met with a nod from Kakashi who then crouched down to his level as he nodded towards the waiting Sasuke, the Uchiha looking nervous as the match below him played out, Shikamaru vs. Temari, as his eyes flickered from them to the waiting Gaara across the stadium.

"Now, think about Sasuke going up against Gaara. You don't have to since I've already looked into it long before you came to talk to me about training. Gaara is, in a few words, a homicidal powerhouse who basically promised to kill my student when they fought. I knew that you would wipe the floor with Neji once I researched him and if I didn't train Sasuke then he would be dead in seconds."

"But why couldn't you train us both? I would have worked with teme if you asked me to!" Naruto's shout was merely met by a raised eyebrow from Kakashi who pointed towards Sasuke and then nodded towards Lee, sitting in the stands in bandages.

"You, are a powerhouse pure and simple. You are uncontrollable and unpredictable in combat and top that off with that unrelenting determination I've seen in you, well, there's no fight between you and Neji and my training would have only made you beat him harder. Moving onto Sasuke, he has a bit of skill but none of it was right to actually survive against Gaara. I put him through hell this last month and I'm still not sure he even stands a chance against that kid. I had to push him to his limits for most of the month just to get him to Lee's speed and we had to head to the hospital almost every day to heal him afterwards. Next I had to teach him a technique to get through to Gaara once his sand came into play and I'm pretty sure even that will fail despite the speed I pushed him to gain. Moving on from that, I then had to get his Sharingan to evolve to the second stage or else he would have been slamming into a wall the moment he tried to use it." Kakashi's words were met with steadily rising understanding from Naruto who looked down towards Sasuke.

The Uchiha was hiding it but he was definitely shaking, even his eyes were fearful as he looked down at the ongoing match, most likely reaching its conclusion and meaning he had to fight soon.

"So, what you're saying is that you had to train Sasuke or else Gaara would kill him?" Naruto's question was met with a quick nod from Kakashi as the Jonin's visible eye crinkled in amusement as he laid one hand on Naruto's head.

"Got it in one. I sent you to Ebisu to learn how to move your Chakra to free your tenketsu if Neji managed to block them." Kakashi turned his attention back to the arena in time to see Shikamaru give up after trapping Temari and in a few minutes it was time for Sasuke and Gaara to fight.

Kakashi slid his book into his pocket as he noticed Naruto talking with Sasuke and giving the Uchiha a quick encouragement that seemed to work as Sasuke walked down into the arena with a grin.

'Alright Sasuke, let's see if all that training actually gave you a chance in this fight.'

Oneshot complete.

So, does that make any sense to you? Sasuke wasn't trained by Kakashi from favoritism on Kakashi's part, it was to keep the kid alive because compared to Naruto he was going to die.

Naruto had the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu, is a great strategist in battle, unpredictable, and has unwavering determination that already stacked the deck against Neji. His promise to defeat him after he hurt Hinata only doomed Neji to lose.

Sasuke through had nothing that could actually beat Gaara so Kakashi trained him the month to keep the kid from dying in the fight against a legitimate psychopath who enjoyed killing people. Even with all this Sasuke would have still lost if the invasion hadn't begun because Gaara would have, pardon my language, lost his shit and unleashed Shukaku to kill Sasuke.

So, will this put an end to Kakashi bashing? Probably not but at least something like this is out there to contradict it.

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AN: Well, how was it? Does it make sense or not? Leave a review on your opinion.


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